My Take: WARNING RANT AHEAD

I would have never picked up this book if left to my own devices but I was bullied into it by both friends and family who accused me of being a shallow snob for turning my nose up at a book because the masses had embraced it. Given my love for Bundaberg Rum, a Holden V8 and Neighbours, I was unaccustomed to being labelled a snob and so resolved to see whether I really was being unreasonable about this and give Mr Brown a proper chance.

Having now actually read the book I now feel on firmer ground insisting that this book is crap. And it’s not that I don’t like trash, even popular trash. I love Tom Clancy. John Grisham is a great way to waste a couple of hours. It’s just that this book was shit. I thought it was poorly written (cringingly expositional in parts), implausible (as a thriller, not historically) and mind numbingly obvious. I’m sorry, but the fact that people who don’t often read read this book isn’t an advertisement for its quality. I do often read and my mind rebels at being spoon fed formulaic drivel aimed at US soccer moms.

Fatally for The Da Vinci Code’s chances with me, it reminded me of the plot of the grand novel that Ewan McGregor’s deadbeat character in “A Life Less Ordinary” was planning:

Richard: Perhaps this is a good opportunity… to tell you about my novel.

Celine: Look, I’m not interested in your novel.

Richard: It’s 1960 right? And Marilyn Monroe… is giving birth to a baby girl. She’s on the phone to Jack Kennedy… saying, “Jack, it’s yours. It’s yours,Jack.”

Celine: So the orphan grows up… And she solves some great mystery, right? It’s kind of obvious, Robert.

I couldn’t have said it better myself: It’s kinda obvious Dan.